Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I watched them start their game of Lameball and said "Whoa whoa, what are you guys playing? That's not how you play handball!"
A toothless boy said "Yuh-huh, that's how you play!" and I regressed to about 6th grade and said "No it's not! That's not handball, what are you guys doing?? Anyone can play like that, that's why the game is lasting 20 minutes. HIT IT, no catching!"
A few kids complained they couldn't play the right way and I said "oh well, time to learn" and gave them some quick pointers. And that's where someone might say, who cares about how kids play handball? Is there nothing better to worry about? And the answer is yes, I havelots of things to worry about.:
BUT instead, I choose to worry about the correct rules of handball being observed by 3rd graders.
Even after the initial protests from a few jelly-armed kids, I told the kids "I played handball since before you were born, I think I know this." BOOYAH.
2 minutes later, I got hit in the face with a ball.
But at least it was being properly hit!
Friday, February 18, 2011
In honor of Presidents' Day, here are the most important facts about George Washington's life, according to 2nd graders:
Apparently, living with his brother was just as important as fighting in the Revolution. His brother was probably totally cool and had awesome parties, yo.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
We walked down the hallway where other classes were still in session and I heard a ball bounce. I turned without thinking and yelled "HOLD YOUR BALLS!"
Luckily, they are still a bit young to catch the funny in that. LOL BALLS.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Normally I am talking and I hear OMG LIKE TOTALLY JUSTIN BIEBER OMG I GOT A NEW CELL PHONE TOTALLY TEXT ME YOUR NUMBER OMG
but when I ask them to read, when I WANT to hear them, it becomes
Charles looked up into the....sky, seeing the vats, I mean, vast clouds and birds...... flying..... overhead. He was amazed at........ what he saw.
And I will say "Louder please. Nice clear voices."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The little boy asked what happened, and I paused for a second.
What I say to a child: "Well, I was not making good choices and I put my finger in his cage."
What I would say to an adult: "I was being a dumbass and wanted to see how hard it could bite. And yeah, it bites HARD. I almost shattered a knuckle. Luckily his beak had just been filed. Seriously though, totally stupid and I was sober, which makes it even worse."
"You need to keep your hands to yourself."
"That was not a good choice."
"I can't seem to find it"
"That was an interesting experience."