Wednesday, January 27, 2010


I am subbing today for the most organized teacher on the planet. 5th grade. Her room is insane. The theme is "otters" and while it's a little weird, I've never in my entire subbing career seen such an organized, symmetrical arrangement. Labels everywhere, neat file bins. The kids all have their own hand sanitizers and mini trash-bins at their desks.


The otters everywhere are creeping me out a bit now. You can tell she's been doing this awhile and everyone thinks a great gift is anything otter-themed. I wonder what her house looks like. :/ But wow, what a classroom. I'm nominating her for Teacher of the Year just based on her file system.


Sunday, January 24, 2010

I had to issue serious warnings against illegal Worm Smuggling into classrooms today. The best part of the rains when you're 6 is all the worms that come out to play. The worst part of the rains for me is the idea of worms in their desks or pencil boxes. I do not tolerate Worm Smuggling or Carrying Concealed Worms. Both ...offenses could result in a minimum sentence of time-out and a maximum of 8-10 in prison.

I was at the local elementary school today, with 2nd grade. Love them. I'm at that school so much the kids know me well, and even before I get into the gates I hear "MIss P!!! Miss P!!!" and I get dozens of hugs. Why is that little children start off so sweet and loving, and by the time they hit 5th grade they morph into such TURDS.

I'll be in middle school tomorrow with a math class I sub for frequently, and 5th period is absolutely terrible. I hate those kids. Every single time I sub, I send 2 outside (1 at each door) and move desks to put at least 4 kids at the corners of the room. I push one desk up to the front board and stick a kid there. They just don't shut up. When I was there Monday, I ended up cutting the lesson early and telling a few of the good kids who were listening to come to the desk and I would explain it to them, but i was not wasting any more time trying to talk over others. There's one girl, Kayla, who is not bad, but does not shut her mouth EVER. I moved her twice and threatened to send her outside, and finally I was so exasperated I said "Kayla, WHERE can I put you to make you stop talking?! I would stick you in that closet if I could! PLEASE STOP TALKING!!!!"

She laughed and said "I'm sorry Miss" and stayed quiet for a good 5 minutes. And then she went back to being a chatterbox.

I give up.
I subbed in a classroom that I disliked today. It was third grade. That's a great grade. The classroom sucked. Barely any artwork up, closed windows, disorganized and dirty. Ugh.

If I taught 3rd grade, this is what my classroom would have (besides the staples of desks, books, etc)

I would have plants in the windows. Because I love plants, and kids love plants, and it makes a room happy.
I would have a pet somewhere in there, probably a betta fish because they are hearty. Maybe a hamster. Kids love pets.
I would have a library area with giant pillows for sitting and reading.
I would keep the window blinds pulled open, because sunlight is awesome and this is not Vampire School.
I would also keep an endless supply of Clorox disinfecting wipes, because children are germy.
I would have mats at the doors to collect their grassy, wet shoe dirt.
I would put up lots and lots of artwork. Because I love art, and kids do too. And it makes a room come alive.

When I taught art, I took great pride in my classroom being full of art, and extremely clean. My students (high school) always laughed at the way I bustled around them with a washcloth and spray, making sure there was not a speck of paint on the white tables. And it smelled really good in there, too.

Saturday, January 23, 2010