The Thief

Dearest Student:

If you're going to break a school rule and use your ipod or phone during class, have the decency to make an effort to conceal it from me. I am neither visually nor hearing impaired. Please at least attempt to hide it. I will find it, I guarantee, but at least humor me. When I was a kid, we had to pass notes on paper back and forth (between feeding the oxen and churning butter), and even we managed to be stealthy. If you just let the cord hang from your ear, it's like saying "Miss, you're so dumb you probably wouldn't even notice this." It's offensive. I am much more alert than that.

Cordially,
Miss P

And nothing is more satisfying than confiscating an electronic device from a kid you've had your eye on the entire period but just could NOT manage to catch right in the middle of the act, until you do a fake "ho-hum, here I am checking out the door" and turn back fast enough to spot it in his hands and yell "AH-HA!! GOTCHA! VICTORY!!!!" like you're King Leonidas (cue the Spartan choir!) and take it despite his weakling attempts to keep his phone with "come on Miss!" while laughing at the absurdity of it all. I teach, and I also steal their toys.

You have to relish little victories like that. Keeps everyone on their toes.