Every day I am in a new class, having to teach new things. And these are all basic things, it's not like I'm subbing for Quantum Physics or anything. I'm just getting kids to understand ABC order or subtracting double digits (go next door, borrow 10 more!). It's simple, simple stuff. And when I honestly do not know (like when a little 4th grade smarty pants asks me where electricity comes from and I want to say "uhhh, when you flip the switch?") I usually say "Well, let's find out!" I just don't want to say "I don't know." I feel totally inadequate and like the children will start crying and attack me with their pencils for my pathetic ineptitude. So when I don't know, I prolong the question, by asking more questions around it.
And I google.
I google like a madwoman. I've googled things I already know, just to be sure. I am obsessed with google. I'm naming my firstborn child Google.
One day, I did not have google. And a child asked me a basic question that I DID NOT KNOW and I panicked, and gave the kid the wrong answer.
The 2nd grader asked me where George Washington was born. I froze. Where was he born? OMG WHERE WAS HE BORN?! HOW DO I NOT KNOW?!!! Was it England?! The colonies?! WHICH COLONY!?! My eyes immediately searched for the computer but that one day I did not bring it. I could not access the teacher's computer.
I thought I could manage without google. And I obviously could not.
I smiled and said "Well....he was born.....in....(come to me, come to me)....the country of....well at that time it was known as...(COME ON BRAIN, WOOOOORRRRKKK!!!)...
The kid said "Oh."
As soon as I got home, I googled. That man was born in Virginia. HOW DID I FORGET?! I have damaged that child and being a sub, I will not see him again tomorrow to rectify my mistake and now UCLA is going to revoke my history degree and HOW AM I SUCH A FAILURE?!
I know one day someone will ask that kid "Where was George Washington born??" and he will say "England!" and that person will say "Uh, no. Who told you that?"
And the kid will say "THAT DUMB-ASS SUBSTITUTE MISS P!"
Sorry, kid. :(